The Work We Do
by Mrs Gordo
Summary: Buffy comes to LA to see Angel during the episode Power Play.


Angel left the initiation ceremony of the Circle of the Black Thorn. He could still taste Drogyn's powerful blood on his tongue. It coursed through his dead veins and his demon hummed with pleasure. It sickened him. He knew it was for the greater good. He had done his best to snap Drogyn's neck to give him a swift death – sacrificing one precious soul in exchange for what he hoped would be the opportunity to save many. Angel knew that he and many of his loved ones would likely follow Drogyn into death.

He had the driver take him over to pick Nina up from campus, where she had stayed late working on an art project. He patted his blazer, feeling for the plane tickets in his inner pocket. He mentally sighed. He hoped Nina would understand. Her presence around the office recently was in small part related to his grand plan. He hoped his intimate relationship with her would give those watching the impression that perhaps he had lost his soul and encourage the Black Thorn to invite him into the fold sooner. He shook his head silently. How many more people that he cared about would be hurt before he reached his end goal? Nina was another casualty of this battle. She had a kind heart and a good soul. She should not be anywhere near the war he was about to wage against Wolfram & Hart. The work he had to do was his burden to bear. He had done enough damage.

Angel had decided to take Nina to his office and explain the situation. He would have liked to go back to her place, but she lived with her sister so that wasn't an option. He pulled up to campus and saw Nina waiting for him. She opened the door and slid into the car. She smiled sweetly at him and he forced a smile back. She had dressed up. She had on a short black cocktail dress and strappy black high heels. Angel silently berated himself for giving Nina the impression that this would be a date.

"You look very nice."

"Thanks, when you said we could meet after, I thought I'd bring a change of clothes in case, you know, we wanted to go do something fun." She smirked.

"I … didn't have anything planned really. I thought we could just talk."

"That's fine, too," Nina responded.

Angel and Nina were not yet in a relationship. They were not comfortable enough with each other to hold hands or snuggle into each other. They had slept together last night and had only been on a few dates before then. Now that Angel knew he would be putting a stop to any potential for a relationship, he wanted to make sure to maintain his distance so as not to lead her on. She tried to lean towards him but he subtly leaned against the window and asked her about her art project. Nina rambled on for a bit until they arrived at the office. Angel asked the driver to park on the street knowing that Nina would need to be taken home soon. He got out of the car and walked over to open the door for Nina.

Before he could open the door, he felt a familiar tingle in his gut. He paused but tried to shrug the feeling away. ' _Must be nostalgia_ ,' he thought. He opened the door, took Nina by the hand, and helped her out of the car. Upon shutting the door again, he froze. The feeling was still there. It wasn't nostalgia – it was very _real_. At that instant, realization hit him. It was _her_. He would know that feeling anywhere. He could be in the bowels of hell and he would know her presence. Instinctively, he looked up at building and to the windows of his penthouse. If not for his vampiric vision, he would not have seen her standing at the window, staring down at him. Her eyes were narrow, with a slightly dangerous edge. A beautiful predator, observing her prey.

He turned to Nina and led her to a bench in front of the building. He would have liked to have this conversation in his office, but the point was to get Nina out of harm's way, not walk her straight into it.

"Nina, we need to talk. Can we sit down?" Angel gestured to the bench and they both sat down. Angel handed Nina an envelope.

Nina took the envelope and opened it. "Plane tickets? I don't believe it. We're getting away? This is...but I thought you didn't have time to...Oh, wait." She inspected the tickets. "My sister and Amanda? I don't understand, we haven't even started dating, seriously, and you're sending me away? Is this about your Roman friend?"

Angel looked away. He winced internally at Nina referencing Buffy, for the second time that day. Buffy didn't belong anywhere near this conversation. He ran his hands through his hair, his anxiety palpable at the thought that she was just upstairs, in his apartment – so incredibly close to him. He felt as if two worlds were colliding. He looked back over at Nina. He was filled with regret for ever allowing himself to get involved with her to begin with when he knew his plan would involve having to leave her. He couldn't have a casual relationship with a woman. He wasn't Steve from the mail room. He was a vampire with a soul in constant atonement for his sins, hell-bent on bringing down the Senior Partners. How did he allow himself to get into this? "I need you out of here, Nina. It's not safe."

Nina shook her head slightly. "Is it ever? I want to be with you if there's trouble."

"You don't understand. I'm the thing that'll hurt you."

Nina stood up and waved the ticket in front of Angel's face. "What do you call this?" She looked on the verge of tears.

Angel didn't want to hurt her. And in reality he knew he likely wouldn't survive the fight. He wanted to offer her some comfort, to ease whatever pain she might be feeling.

"If I get through this...intact...I'll come for you. We'll...have time."

Nina laughed and looked into this eyes. "You're the most amazing man I've ever met, but you're a crappy liar."

"Go. It's not a request." Angel tried to convey the seriousness of his words. Maybe fear would make her leave – keep her safe.

"I'll go. Why on earth would I stay?" Nina began to walk away. Angel walked after her.

"Nina, let me drive you home."

"No, thanks." She kept walking.

"At least let my driver take you, please."

Nina paused. She nodded slightly. She allowed him to open the door and she got inside. He closed the door and watched the car leave. He walked into the building and up to his apartment. Towards the one woman who, for better or for worse, would always own him – heart and soul.

Buffy sat on Angel's bed. It was unmade. It was unlike him to have an unkempt bed. He was always extremely organized. He took multiple showers, he liked his books organized by subject and he hated when she would leave crumbs on his bed. But here she sat amid a tangled mess of sheets. In a modern penthouse apartment that felt nothing like Angel. Had he really changed so much?

She heard the penthouse door open. But she had felt his approach long before he arrived. It was that tingle in her gut, like the butterflies you got as a kid when you were on a swing flying high in the air. It always gave her goosebumps and made her shiver. Sometimes, like today, it made her slightly aroused. He walked into the room, took off his blazer and threw it over a chair. He leaned his long body against his door frame. He stared at her for a moment and she held his gaze, allowing herself a moment to admire the sight of him. He was, as always, tall, dark, and still annoyingly gorgeous. Forever physically unchanged except for his eyes. His eyes showed that he was so very different from the man she knocked down in that dark alley so many years ago. She couldn't help but feel a twinge of sadness at not being a part of his life all of these years. But, also in those same eyes, she saw the familiar soul of the man she had always loved. She felt as if she had been lost in a desert for so long without water. And here he was, her oasis. Or perhaps, a mirage.

"Buffy," Angel said. It always surprised Buffy how well they could communicate with each other by just simply saying the other's name. Every time he said her name it conveyed a different emotion. Sometimes it whispered affection – an almost prayerful reverence. Sometimes it expressed fear or surprise. Today there was some contempt. But always, _always_ she heard the love.

Buffy leaned back on the bed on her elbows and nodded at him. "Angel." Their ritual completed. She too let his name express the simmering anger she felt. She wasn't proud of her jealousy. She knew that he did not belong to her. Although that decision had been his - not hers. She had no claim to him and yet, she had always felt he belonged to her. A constant in her ever-changing world. The sun would rise and fall every day. Birds would fly, fish would swim, and Angel, wherever he was in this great big world, would always love her. Had that changed too?

"You know, I am CEO of one of the most powerful law firms in the Western hemisphere and yet, my ex can still find a way to sneak into my apartment without my knowledge. You really can't employ good security anymore, can you?"

"Well, I know a guy who is apparently good friends with your security detail. He convinced them to let me in. Promised them he would let them drive your Viper or something along those lines."

Angel frowned in understanding. "I see. So I'm not your first stop."

"No. I had some business to take care. Needed to straighten some things out. And I wanted the lay of the land around here. I don't like to go into a battle blind."

Angel scoffed and crossed his arms. "Battle? Is that what this is?"

"Isn't it always with us?" She looked away. Angel took a second to admire her. She looked healthier than the last time he had seen her. She had filled out some since her fight with the First. She wore brown leather pants that hugged her hips and a black silky spaghetti strap blouse which exposed most of her sun kissed back. Her golden hair was long and loose and fell in slight waves around her shoulders. Rome had done her well. She had a glow to her. His body ached to reach out and touch her smooth skin, to feel the heat that undoubtedly radiated from her body.

It never made much difference what Buffy had looked like along the years; he had always found her beautiful in different ways. When she was in the throes of her youth, with her round face, pouty lips and eyes filled with the excitment of life - not yet dulled by the horrors of reality. And yet, when she was in the depths of her deepest depression, following her resurrection, he remembered that quiet beauty in her sad eyes that showed a determination to find strength of purpose. Angel loved all incarnations of his Slayer. And today was no different. He wanted her just the same as he had that fateful night when he took her innocence, when they had released his demon. But he reminded himself that she was not his to have.

Angel's face masked his emotional turmoil and remained unmoved. "Why are you here, Buffy?"

"Well, a few reasons." She stood up and walked around the room, inspecting it like some sort of crime scene. "First, I heard you came looking for me in Rome. And that you and Spike left, rudely, without saying hello."

"Well, you looked rather preoccupied. How is the Immortal?" Angel said not able to contain his bitterness. "I guess you really _do_ have a type."

She glared at him. "He's fine. Thank you for asking. I'll make sure to tell him you send your regards. How is Nina?" She walked over to the window and smirked slightly. "I guess you really do have a thing for petite blondes. You didn't have to have her leave on my account. I would have rather liked to meet the girl. Tell me…" She turned back towards the bed and ran her hands down the sheets as she spoke. "Did you make love to her on this bed?"

"Buffy…" Angel sighed. He was suddenly weary of this battle. These venomous words were their only weapons and yet they wounded just the same. He didn't want to hurt her. He quietly berated himself for being so petty. Angel knew that Buffy was angry and jealous like he was, but he also saw the sadness in her eyes. "Nina and I are over. There wasn't much there to begin with. I shouldn't have involved her in my life. Those closest to me always end up hurt."

"Do you love her?" She asked him, her face still conveying the anger of their previous exchange.

"No," Angel replied simply – truthfully.

Buffy sat down on the bed facing away from him and looked out at the LA skyline. She took a deep breath and wrapped her arms around her petite frame as if protecting herself from the answer to her next question. "But - you -you were in love with Cordelia?"

Angel immediately straightened himself. He had long dreaded this conversation and yet had always wondered if he would ever have it with her. He knew Buffy and Cordelia had not been fond of each other. But so much time has passed and in that time Cordelia had changed so much. He walked over and sat next to Buffy. He wanted to tell her the truth but he wasn't sure what the answer was. "I don't know. Maybe. Things with Cordy were very confusing, especially towards the end. I know that she was my dearest friend and I miss her every day. But whether I was in love? It's hard to say."

"What kind of a stupid answer is that, Angel?" Buffy got up and looked directly at him. An accusatory glare. "You have been alive for nearly 250 years. You know if you are in love with someone."

Despite Buffy's outburst, Angel spoke softly, "I have only ever known what it was to be in love with you. For 243 years I loved no one, cared for no one, no one ever mattered, not like you did. And after I came to LA, I had friends and later a family." Angel paused, not wanting to discuss his son or how that may have played into his feelings for Cordelia. "I developed feelings for Cordy. But it wasn't the same way I felt about you. Does that mean it wasn't love? I'm being honest with you, Buffy, I don't know. Before I could figure out what those feelings meant, Cordy was ... she was gone"

Buffy sighed and leaned back against the window. Her anger finally began to dissipate. She felt the truth of his words. She let out a small puff of air and said softly, "Strangely, I know what you mean."

He understood her need to have these questions answered. Cordelia had been the only other significant woman in his life. Buffy also had another vampire in her life and he, too, needed to know where she stood with him. He mentally prepared himself as he asked the question, "What about you - with Spike, do you…" Angel swallowed hard. "Are you in love with him?"

Buffy let out a small, sad laugh. Then looked directly at him. "Not the way I love you. And maybe that's the problem, isn't it? I'm always comparing my lovers to you." She shook her head slightly and looked down at her hands, which fidgeted nervously. "I do love Spike, but I don't love him the way he should be loved, not the way he loves me. It isn't fair to him. It wasn't fair to Riley. God, sometimes, I feel like it's not even fair to me. This isn't how it should be. People fall in love, they break up and they move on. And yet… I can't seem to…"

"I know," Angel finished for her.

Buffy took a deep breath and allowed the Slayer within to take the reins. The girl would have to wait. She turned to look at Angel. "What are you playing at here, Angel? What is going on? You are the CEO of Evil Incorporated? I have Giles telling me you are corrupt. I have Willow, who is all sorts of in tune with the forces of good and evil, telling me there is an apocalypse brewing in LA. And then Spike of all people calls to tell me he is worried that Angelus is on the loose. Can you imagine what it took for Spike to call me to come down here?"

Angel's temper flared. "Listen, Buffy, this doesn't concern you. Your camp has made it very clear that they don't trust me. Me and my team are on our own. Isn't that what you all wanted? I mean, come on, do you honestly think I'm Angelus?" Angel laughed at the absurdity. "Do you honestly think that Angelus wouldn't have gone out to find you by now, tried to turn you?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "I know you aren't Angelus. Because your soul is bound."

Angel looked her, shocked. "What? What are you talking about? My soul is not bound."

"Of course it is. How do you think you were able to fuck Nina? Your soul is bound, Angel. Willow bound it the last time she re-ensouled you."

Angel sighed. "Buffy, sleeping with Nina was not going to let Angelus loose on anyone. Do you even know how rare perfect happiness is? That has only ever happened with you."

"And Cordelia," Buffy said, stone-faced, still wearing the mask of the Slayer.

"I never slept with Cordelia." Angel paused. He assumed Willow had told her about the last time his soul was extracted. "If you are referring to the dream that extracted my soul last year, it wasn't sleeping with Cordelia in the dream that caused me to lose my soul." Angel ran a hand through his hair. "It was all of my friends and my family forgiving me, believing in me, loving me unconditionally. It was the Cordelia in my dreams accepting me fully and making me believe I was more man than vampire. And then, it was you, remembering you and how you loved and trusted me when I had been a monster, how you made me feel worthy. All of those things together culminated in the extraction of my soul." Angel let out a small laugh. "Even before, it was never about the sex when I lost my soul with you, Buffy. I mean, don't get me wrong, the sex was a component. Not only because of how amazing it was..." He paused for a moment and looked at her. He realized that he had never told her how special that night had been to him. He looked directly into her eyes. "And, believe me, it was the most extraordinary night of my life. But more than that, it was that you loved me and trusted me. It was the greatest gift anyone had ever given me. I have never been happier in all of my wretched life than at that very moment when you laid in my arms after we made love."

Buffy's face was beginning to betray her emotions. She held her tears back. The Slayer was slowly giving way to the girl. "Your soul _is_ bound, Angel. When I started getting reports from Giles about Wolfram & Hart and about your relationship with Nina, I became concerned that Angelus was out. So I spoke to Willow. She told me that last year, when she came to help restore your soul, she had worked out a way to exclude the clause. But she wasn't sure if the changes had worked so she wanted to wait to tell you. She says Gypsy magic is old and tricky. She wanted to be sure because she didn't want to risk, you know... But after some research and apparently some astral projecting into your room at night while you slept - sorry about that..." Buffy looked up and smiled nervously, "...she confirmed that the changes in the spell worked. Willow was able to return your soul without a clause. So you see your soul is yours."

Angel was stunned at the realization that his soul was safe. Although he knew that perfect happiness was extremely rare, he had lived for years in constant fear that his monster would be freed. But even as he took a moment to digest what a remarkable gift Willow had given him, he worried that his plans to infiltrate the Black Thorn would be ruined. "Who knows about this?" Angel asked anxiously.

"Just me and Willow. Why?"

"Listen to me, Buffy. No one can know this, OK? You have to tell Willow as soon as you leave that no one can know my soul is bound."

Buffy's eyes narrowed. "Angel, you have to tell me what is going on."

Angel got up and stood in front of her. He looked down and into her eyes. "Do you remember the first time you told me you loved me?" Buffy nodded slightly. "You said you loved me but you weren't sure if you _trusted_ me. I worked so hard to earn your trust. I don't know if you realize how important it was that you trusted me, especially after - when I came back. It meant everything that you felt I was trustworthy after all I had done as when I had lost my soul. So when Andrew came for Dana and told me that no one on your team trusted me – it was a slap in the face. I would have preferred to hear every fucking detail of your sordid affair with Spike than to hear that you didn't trust me. Buffy, all of this started because of you. You set me on this path. The work that I do started because of you. You taught me to keep fighting even when it was hard and so I did. And I'm here now," he motioned to his surroundings, "in the belly of the beast and I have a plan. Why don't you _trust_ me?"

Buffy was shocked. Her eyes showed her confusion. She placed her hand on his cheek. "Angel, don't be absurd. We have been through so much together. I trust you with my life. Some of my friends may not trust you, but that's nothing new, is it? I've always known that if you were yourself you were still on the side of good. Andrew is a moron. He was talking about Giles' camp. Giles and I have been at odds about this for months. Willow told me that he refused to help with Fred and I feel just awful about that. I'm so incredibly sorry. Had I known..." Buffy paused holding back a shudder. "I can't imagine what he was thinking by refusing to help one of our own. But… I do...trust you, Angel. I just want to help. Shoulder to shoulder, remember? Your apocalypse is my apocalypse. We can do this together."

Angel shook his head and moved away slightly. "No. I can't risk you."

"Those words sound awfully familiar," Buffy scoffed.

"This is the work I have to do. And I need to do it alone. I don't know if I'll survive this, Buffy. But I'm willing to accept that. Enough of the people I love are placing their lives on the line. But I can't lose you. I can't go into that battle with your life on the line."

Buffy gave him a sad smile. "Stubborn as always. When will you learn your work is my work too?" She looked into his eyes and knew he would not be swayed. She sighed and went back to sit on the bed. "Always walking away from each other or sending each other away. Will it ever end?" The moonlight streaming into the room illuminated the room. At that moment, she felt completely vulnerable in front of him. Just as she was at seventeen, face to face with the one love of her life as he made love to her that night long ago. Just as she was at eighteen, in the sewers begging him not to leave her. Just as she was at twenty, sitting in a cemetery asking him to stay with her forever. Just as exposed as the time she had asked him to hold her and make the pain go away after her resurrection. And just as the time she had kissed him on the night before the greatest battle of her life, knowing it might have been her last night.

Now here she was, with him, on the eve of _his_ greatest battle.

Angel walked over and kneeled in front of her. He reached up to caress her hair. He ran his fingers along her face as if memorizing her, tracing her lips with his fingers softly. "I don't know what tomorrow will bring, Buffy. The world is constantly demanding of us, seeking sacrifice after sacrifice. But whatever battle I fight, whatever war I wage, at every moment of my existence, I will love you. You are still that light at the end of the tunnel." He smiled sadly as he thought of the long-promised Shanshu, wondering if the prophecy had been a big cosmic joke. Part of him wanted so desperately to hold on to the dream that it held and what it would mean for a future with the woman before him.

Buffy leaned in, closing the distance between them and kissed him. The world melted away as it always did with him. No one existed in that moment but him and his kiss. For that brief moment nothing else mattered. Everyone else could fall away and she would die content in the arms of the only man she would ever truly love.

She opened her eyes after their kiss and saw the same passion that had always existed between them. In the past, they would have walked away from that fire before it consumed them. But not tonight. Tonight was the night before his battle and Angel's soul was safe. Tonight, if even for just a few hours, they could pretend it was just them. It was just two souls starved for each other after years of being deprived of their other half. No other lovers, no other duties, no other fates. The world would not end tonight.

Angel laid Buffy on his bed and slowly undressed her. Some small part of him knew that Nina's scent still lingered on these sheets but his senses were so overwhelmed with Buffy, her familiar scent of vanilla and sunshine. Everything else seemed to fade away, like a distant memory. He undressed himself as she watched. Then he moved to her on the bed and kissed every inch of her body, worshipping her like the goddess she was.

Buffy had been ready for him from the moment she came into the room. She thought maybe she would always be ready for him. Just the thought of him, just a look and she was at his mercy.

He moved to position himself at her entrance. He waited for a moment and looked into her eyes to make sure she wanted this. One look from her told him all he needed to know. She was there with him, in that moment and longed for it just the same. He slowly sheathed himself in her. They shivered at the feeling, the intimacy. Both taking the time to enjoy the feeling of their two bodies connected, at last, after years apart.

Buffy knew this is where she belonged. Their time apart suddenly felt unbearable. They had been so far from each other. This is how close she always wanted to be to him.

He made love to her, slowly - gently. Taking the time to enjoy her, to feel the warmth radiating from her body and spreading throughout his. Angel knew that it could be the last time he was able to show her his love. He prayed to the Powers that Be that he would be allowed to love her like this again, perhaps every day for the rest of his existence. He felt her climax approach and held her closely as she gasped and moaned. He quickly followed her burying his face in her neck near the scar he had given her so many years before. A reminder of all they had been through, and maybe even a warning for all the future difficulties they were sure to face.

"I love you." She whispered as he kept his head buried in her neck. "Always." She kissed his head. He rolled over and brought her next to him so that she could rest on his chest. If he died tomorrow, he would die a happy man.

He closed his eyes, inhaling her scent, feeling the warmth of her body, allowing her fierce strength to comfort him. Tomorrow he would embark on the biggest battle of his long life. He would be surrounded by his friends, who would follow him to the entrance of hell. All of the work he had done had led him here to this moment, to this battle. Cordelia had blessed him with direction and inspiration. Buffy had given him yet another gift he hadn't even known he needed. The desire to live. The desire to not just wage the war, but win it. For more time. For a life with her. A life he had long deprived them both of having. If he lived, he would go to her. As long as she would allow him to, he would love her just as he had tonight. With that, Angel fell into a deep and peaceful sleep with dreams of many tomorrows.

Buffy allowed Angel to fall asleep before getting up and getting dressed. She knew what she had to do. She was done with the song and dance that was the Angel and Buffy show. No more walking away. They deserved to share a life together. But in order for that to happen he had to live - or at least she had to make sure he wasn't ashes in the wind. She didn't know the details of his plan but she could tell Angel was gearing up for a battle and it was the big kind. He wanted her to stay away but he should know better, Buffy never did as she was told.

She snuck out of his apartment and out of the Wolfram & Hart building. She grabbed her cell phone and made a call.

"Faith, it's Buffy. Listen up. Angel has an apocalypse on his hands. What do you say we gather the troops? He's gonna need us."

The rain was pouring down on them. Four soldiers stood ready for battle. Angel stepped forward. Spike, Gunn and Illyria followed. They stared at the horde of demons approaching them in the alley.

"In terms of a plan?" Spike asked.

"We fight," Angel replied.

"Bit more specific," Spike snorted.

Angel stepped towards the advancing demons. "Well, personally, I kind of want to slay the dragon."

"Get in line because that guy has my name written all over him." Angel startled at the familiar voice that came from behind him. _Buffy_. He should have known she wouldn't stay away from the fight, even against his wishes. He looked past her and saw Faith. He nodded at his friend. He was not the least bit surprised that she would come to his aid. Faith gave Angel a crooked smirk as she stood ready for battle. Behind Faith was an army of women, Slayers. He could feel their power and it sent shivers down his spine. He looked at the building above him and saw Willow flanked by Xander and a woman he did not recognize who was holding an injured, but living, Wesley. Behind them stood five older women. They, too, exuded immense supernatural vibes – witches, he thought.

He looked back at Buffy who had walked to his side. For so long he had wanted nothing more than to protect her. He wanted to keep her safe from the world. But there she stood, tall – a warrior. A vision of power and strength packed into the beautiful body of the woman he loved. Her eyes were battle ready, her pulse was racing and her muscles tensed in anticipation of the coming fight. The truth was, this was the work that they both had to do and they could do it together.

Angel felt the tide turn. A battle that once felt hopeless was now theirs to win. And they would win. After all, he thought as he looked at Buffy, these senior partners didn't know who they were dealing with.

"Shoulder to shoulder," Buffy said to him as she lifted her scythe and took a battle stance.

Angel smiled at her. "Let's go to work."


End file.
